Blessed Extrovert with Depression

Depression is a funny thing. It affects rich people, poor people, extroverts, and introverts. Whether its a chemical thing, or sparked by traumatic events, it can (sometimes literally) take the life out of you. I'm pretty open about my own struggle with depression because I think it's important to the healing process. I know that I've been extremely lucky because I have people in my life that love in my struggle, and I know for many people who struggle with this have to deal with it alone and silently. My love and prayers go out to you.

I think that I first started struggling with depression about 3 or 4 years ago, and while I have gotten significantly better, there are still days when I struggle with it. Normally I am an extremely outgoing, happy person, but when I was in the worst of it I basically shut down. I wasn't getting help, and I didn't think I would or even could get better.

While some would say that my depression was justified (some major family crises happened), the truth is that I've been pretty blessed. To be honest this sometimes made it worse. I felt guilty about every moment I was sad because I felt I didn't deserve to be. I was only listening to sad music, reading depressing things, and focusing on the darkness instead to trying to let the light in.

Then one day I had a personal crises. I won't go into detail on here, but I will say that it scared me into realizing I needed help. This was a huge turning point for me because up until then I didn't even really want help. I am so lucky that I have the mom that I have, because as soon as I shared with her that I needed help she was in go mode. I started going to therapy, I saw a doctor, and was diagnosed with PTSD and depression. Shortly after that I was put on medication to help balance out my emotions, and it really did help (though not at first, and I was both reluctant and doubtful about it).

While this didn't "cure" me, it did set me down the path of recovery. I've realized some things along the way as well. I realized it's okay to take time to be sad and heal, and that I didn't need to feel guilty or ashamed. Everyone has problems and heartbreak. Some people do have it worse than me, and some have it better, but that doesn't invalidate my own pain. I also realized the importance of what you put into your mind and heart. I used to think I could listen to, watch, and read whatever I wanted and I could be objective and not let it affect me. This just isn't true, and once I realized that I had to stop listening to depressing music, watching depressing shows, reading harmful things, and hanging out with people who encouraged these things. It was extremely difficult to give up these things, but once I did I felt an immediate improvement.

Maybe you or someone you know is battling with depression, and you don't know how to help or get help for yourself. My advice to you is the same whether you're dealing with yourself or someone you care about. Be patient and kind, encourage being surrounded by positive things rather than negative things, and find someone safe and trustworthy to talk to. I also definitely encourage going to a doctor because how frustrating would it be if you just had a chemical imbalance and this whole time you've been suffering could have been avoided with one small pill??

Wherever you are in life, I wish you all the luck in the world and hope this post helps in some small way.

First Tattoo

Today I did something I've wanted to do for a very long time. I got a tattoo! Through the years what I wanted to get has changed, but I've always known I wanted art on my skin. Since I just turned 18, my best friend Rebecca paid for me to get my first one. We decided that we wanted to get matching ones because we have been through so much together. The design I got was very small and tame compared to most tattoos, but it does have a lot of meaning for me.

It is just a small arrow (probably about 3-4 inches long) with the Greek word for "love" (αγάπη) above the arrow, and the Greek word "wisdom" (σοφία) below it.

My full name is Shannon, which is Irish for Wise River. Originally it was for the Irish Goddess Sionna, which means "possessor of wisdom." Not only that, but I also love Greek mythology, and the goddess I always loved best was Athena. Athena just so happens to be the Greek goddess of wisdom, which I found out after learning my name meaning. So it was a happy coincidence! While Rebecca's name doesn't mean love, she does have a terrible need to give and receive love. Because of that, as well as the fact that she is gorgeous, she most identifies with the Greek goddess Aphrodite.

The actual event itself really only took about 20 minutes. Which is crazy to think about since I'm going to have this until the day I die (unless my arm gets cut off, fingers crossed it doesn't). People always used to tell me, "Oh man that's going to hurt so bad!!" and "You're going to regret that later!" but honestly, neither are true. I'm very happy with how it turned out, and it didn't hurt nearly as much as I thought it would. It was kind of like getting bit by an ant or something.

If you are thinking about getting a tattoo, and not sure if you should, here's your sign! If you want it to have meaning, then sit down and really think about the design you want and sort out all the kinks (like color, placement, size). Or, maybe you just want one that looks cool and you're feeling impulsive.

I went to Under The Needle in Seattle and I was pretty pleased with the experience. If you are like me, and have led a somewhat sheltered life, it can be a little intimidating when you first walk in. But the people there were all very nice and willing to work with me to get my tattoo exactly how I wanted it. So don't be afraid to take as long as you need to work with the artist until you feel like the design is perfect. Their address is 2118 2nd Ave, Seattle, WA 98121. They do accept walk-ins, and take cash or card.